Our newest foster kid through Medical Animals In Need (M.A.I.N.). He’s a German shepherd mix who came to M.A.I.N. after a plea was sent out because he has puppy strangles. Learning opportunity here: Puppy strangles is a skin disease that, you guessed it, affects puppies. It appears as swelling and infected sores on their face, muzzle, and ears and it’s very itchy. Like any illness, it’s sad to watch them go through this. Part of the treatment is steroids which greatly reduce the fight of a puppy’s immune system. Obviously the shelter isn’t the best place for a kid so sick. That’s the end of that educational lesson. You’re welcome! Back to Flynn. He went to the vet, got a bumper-to-bumper check and it’s believed that he is nine weeks old. Can you say sharp-as-hell puppy teeth? He’s finished his antibiotics and is almost done with his steroids. He’s definitely improving.
We’ve decided that Flynn has a great sense of humor. Oh, just wait and you’ll soon agree! Like any puppy, Flynn likes to play A LOT. He has this great game (said with massive amounts of sarcasm) that he just loves called the run back and forth in front of the human but really close to their feet to see if you can trip them game. Honestly, it’s not so fun being the human in this little scenario of his and I’ll admit that he’s really good at it! I think he kind of cheats because he doesn’t warn you. He just starts playing so if you’re distracted or you don’t see him “start,” there’s a high probability for danger, injury, and swearing. He’s fast and he doesn’t mess around. He bolts at your feet like they’re slathered with gravy. If you stop, because you think you’ll outsmart him, he’ll sit there looking all innocent and cute and you think to yourself, “Self, he’s not going to do the run back and forth in front of the human but really close to their feet to see if you can trip them game.” With that thought, you continue on your way and SMACK! He has just kamikazed into your feet and you’re now super unsteady so you start grabbing the wall; the flat wall. The wall that has nothing to grab on to. Thankfully there are a few doorways in Flynn’s area so if you continue to flail you’ve got a pretty good chance of grabbing the doorjamb without face planting on the tile. As you recover and glance at Flynn you can just tell he’s thinking, “Isn’t the run back and forth in front of the human but really close to their feet to see if you can trip them game fun?” No Flynn. Not it is not. Not even a little.
Something else that Flynn does that is so not funny is that he pees next to his puppy pad. So rude. He has a pee pad at all times just in case he forgets where the doggy door is or he over estimates his ability to hold it or if he simply says screw it. He does use the pad which is fantastic! However, I think it must depend on his mood or the odds in Vegas that day because he might hit the pad once or twice and then he pees next to it. It’s not like we leave a soaked pad there. We’re constantly changing it. What makes this even worse is that the pee runs under the pee pad thanks to our amazing home builder who apparently didn’t own a freakin’ level. The pee runs south (literally) until it loses momentum because the stream has thinned. Why does he do this? Could his aim really be that bad? It’s not like he’s up on two legs trying to hit a target across the room. And you know what? I swear that when I’m cleaning the floor I hear him giggle a little and that’s just rude.
A fact you need to know about Flynn is that he is a champion pooper. I have never seen a puppy poop as much as this boy does. I sometimes wonder if he can do it on command but no way am I asking. Anyway, after cleaning up one of his south running pee episodes, I took the pad to the garbage in our garage. When I came back in I couldn’t find him. As I turned again to look for him, I saw foot prints. Tiny foot prints leading to the garage entrance. I opened the door and he was climbing on his bag of dog food and I noticed more tiny prints. I called him inside and as I tried to figure out what the prints were made of I then smelled the cause. Yup! He pooped down the hall, stepped in it, and left me the smelly prints. You cannot tell me this dog doesn’t think he’s funny.
For the next two “humorous” situations, let me just say, location-location-location. In our spare bedroom we have plastic modular shelving that a normal person would use in their garage. They’re pretty heavy duty with four shelves that are slatted. Yup you guessed it, Flynn shit “on” the shelf which means that Flynn shit through the shelf! Well of course I took a picture for you and you’re welcome! When I showed Marc the picture he said, “He backed his ass up and aligned it to make it through those slats!” I laughed and I agreed; it’s probably how it happened. At this point you’re most likely thinking that’s funny and you’re picturing us moving the shelves and cleaning up the poop and floor. Nope, it didn’t happen quite that easily. You see, something you don’t know about me is that I’m a candle addict. On those shelves that Flynn decided to sanctify are 50+ heavy glass candles. Thankfully Marc is resourceful and was able to clean the poop and the floor without having to move everything. That part wasn’t funny.
The next location was easier to clean up but funnier than the slatted shelf. When we got home a few nights ago we could smell poop. I walked towards our bathroom and as I saw what had happened, I bust out laughing and called Marc to come look. Flynn shit on the scale. Not in the yard. Not on the puppy pad. No, Flynn went on the scale. I had tears from laughing so hard. Being the twisted dog people that we are, Marc took a picture of that poop too and again, you’re welcome.
Did I tell you? This boy has a great sense of humor; warped but great.