Here’s a very delicate question: Does size matter? This has been debated since the beginning of time. My answer? No it doesn’t; well, at least not for this initial scenario. Let me explain. When I first started writing, I of course sought Google’s opinion first. There isn’t anything or anyone smarter. Not Wikipedia or any of the other Pedia things and no-not even Seri. How do I know this? Because when my husband asks Seri a question, she shows him what she found on Safari. Well, I don’t like Safari. I like Google. Therefore, Google is smarter. Ok, I just started writing and already I’m off course here. Good luck to the three of you that read this! Yea, I’m a pretty optimistic person.
When I searched the internet and so very many websites, blogs, and writing groups, the majority of them said a blog should be 4-5 pages. I’m pretty darn “wordy” (duh right?) so I knew that wouldn’t be a problem. However, what I’ve run into now is this: I have things I want to share with you that don’t need 4-5 pages. Maybe they only need a page or so. Does that mean I shouldn’t write about them? I’m the person that if something makes me laugh I want to share it. Not everything that makes me laugh is 4-5 pages; hence the whole size matters subject. See my dilemma?
Here’s what I’ve decided to do. I’m going to write whatever I want to write and, I’m going to make it however long I want to make it. I think that’s reasonable. After all, my blog my rules–right (rhetorical-but you already knew that)? This means you’re going to have some short articles coming your way. I know you’re pretty psyched.
Let’s get on with this size thing in reference to dogs and only dogs. For our big guy (that might be a pun), Ryder, size matters in reference to breakfast and dinner times. Just a for instance here; Shelby is a Chihuahua and she gets 1/4 cup of food per meal and eats twice per day. Now I don’t know if you can imagine what that amount of food looks like but let me tell you, it is not a lot. It looks like you tried to get a big scoop of food so you could fill the measuring cup to the top but there were those few stubborn pieces that slid off. Yea, those would equal what Shelby gets. Every time she eats I swear we’re starving the poor girl. My point is, Ryder gets three cups of food per mean and eats twice per day. So if he got ¼ cup of food in his bowl he would likely think it was supposed to be a joke yet he would definitely not find it funny. Ryder is very serious about his food. He gets that from me. When it comes to meals…size matters.
If meal size matters then it probably goes without saying that treat size matters too. Just to give you a refresher, I have dogs that range from 110 pounds to 12 pounds. Obviously not everyone gets the same sized treat. If I gave our Mastiff the same treats that the 12 pound kid gets, I would most definitely get the, “You’re an idiot” look, from the big kid (he gets that from me too). I mean there’s no way he can even taste them. Once they’re in his mouth they must just slide down with the natural flow of spit. So most likely, he’d think I’m tricking him. Like I’m pulling the, hide the ball behind my back trick, that we humans think is so funny-yet probably annoys the crap out of the dogs. When it comes to treats…size matters.
Let’s talk dog beds. Most people purchase a dog bed based on the size of the dog or if there’s more than one then you might buy a small and large, two large, two small, you get the picture. We do that too. However, once any sized bed is in the house, the little ones think it’s theirs. We could bring in a twin sized mattress, put it on the living room floor and the two little ones would claim it faster than I can consume a Hershey bar. And let me be clear here, I can consume a chocolate bar before you can read the word Hershey on it. So, it never seems to fail that the little ones decide where everyone is going to lay down and for the big ones that often presents a challenge. When it comes to beds…size matters.
Now let’s cover the topic of poop. You knew it was coming. I mean, we always talk poop or farts or throw-up or all three combined. I know, why would poop size matter? Let me try to explain. We have a poop scooper and a mini rake. The scooper piece looks like a dustpan with a long handle. It works great. Then we have a five gallon bucket that the scooper gets emptied into as we go along. If there are just little poops to pick up then you can cover a lot more area because more can fit in the scooper at one time. However, when Ryder (Mastiff) poops he tips the poop scale the other way which means a few more trips to the poop bucket to empty the poop scooper. Another situation in relation to poop size is an unpleasant situation (as if the other wasn’t) but still one that I’ve experienced more times than I’ll admit. When poop is on grass and you rake it to the scooper, the grass can send the poop off track and it’ll roll away missing the scooper. If you make your rake swipe a bit swifter and quicker, you get less grass interference. Who knew there was a science behind cleaning poop up right? This works perfectly until your rake skips just a bit. You see, when you are starting to swipe the rake and it jumps a little, it then puts more force against the poop which then sends it flying just a bit (or so you hope). If it’s a small poop then your chance of it smacking you in the leg is much slimmer than say if it’s a Ryder poop. With a Ryder poop, the skip plus the flex of the rake tongs causes a huge force behind a poop that resembles a hotdog. When that slams into your leg, you just have to hope that it’s more than 12 hours old so that it’s hard. Any area of softness just brings on a greater level of grossness because when that one spot hits your skin you know it, immediately. You’ve just been slimed with poo. When it comes to poop…size matters.