There are some things that our dogs do that make me laugh. Other things that drive me crazy. No matter what though, I love them with all my heart. With that said, I was trying to decide what to write about and thought that I would just keep it simple. So I decided to do something different and just make a list. Which I guess is a list of my opinions. Well and my thoughts. Umm my likes too. Oh and my dislikes also. Ok, it’s a list about me and my dogs.
Puppy Breath: For years I’ve heard people say, “Oh my God, I just love puppy breath. Puppy breath is amazing. Puppy breath is the greatest. I can’t get enough puppy breath.” I’m telling you, I’ve witnessed the sight of a puppy turning adults into toddlers. Not just because of the cuteness involved with a puppy. Not because puppies want to lick your face and jump all over you. Not because they are full of love, they nibble on your fingers and bite your toes. Nope none of the above. It’s all about the breath! People actually love the air that comes from a puppy’s body. Weird? To me yes. I’m just thankful it’s the air that comes out of the front end and not the back.
Dogs’ Paw Pads: I was told that dogs’ paw pads smell like Fritos. I know, I know, it’s odd. Years ago when someone told me this fact I distinctly remember rolling my eyes and thinking, “Uh yah, whatever!” I was so sure that person was insane but of course my curiosity got the best of me and I had to find out. Yes, I smelled my dog’s paws and guess what? Yup, they smelled like Fritos and I loved it. I had owned many dogs without knowing this fact but, now that I know it, I absolutely love smelling the dogs’ paw pads. Obviously this makes me the weird one but I can own it. Go ahead, smell your dog’s paws; you know you want to.
Testing my Patience: Oh can our dogs test my patience at times (Yes they can, that was a rhetorical question)? Ryder is 9 months old. He’s a Mastiff so he’s tall already. And everything about him is puppy! He’s a mooshball and he just wants love and wants to be with you. His attention span is negative 10. He’s very much a Velcro dog with me (you know, sticks to you). Ok now you have Ryder’s details. One thing he does that makes me crazy is he walks behind me but he doesn’t pay attention. I know that doesn’t sound so bad and it’s not. But, it never fails that when I stop, his head ends up in my butt. I try to eliminate the problem by talking to him as we walk, you know, trying to keep his attention. Nope, doesn’t work. I swear he could be walking next to me but if I stopped he’d probably jump behind me just to hit my butt with his head. I think it has become a game for him. A fun one for him, but a pain in the butt for me!
Sniffing and Licking (I know–sounds inappropriate): Right now we have five dogs and two fosters. Every dog but one in our house has an issue with one or both of these subjects; in reference to people I mean. Blaze is a face licker but he’s very polite about it. He sniffs your face and you then know that if you don’t move, he’s going to lick you. Zoey is tricky because she does one, the other, or both so you have to be on your toes. Also, her tongue is ginormous so when she does lick you it’s generally half your face. Crispie is the one who doesn’t really do either. She’ll sniff your face if she thinks you’re eating but that’s only if she feels like getting up or near you. Shelby and Parker (our fosters) would lick your face to skeletal status if you let them. I don’t know if that’s a Chihuahua thing or maybe a little dog thing. They are relentless. I mean your face, your hand, your neck, your leg, whatever. Constant, constant, constant. Oh and moving your hand or saying no does zero to stop them. I’m pretty sure it’s part of that selective hearing stuff that dogs have sometimes. Jax is pretty much just a face sniffer. I have no idea what he bases his actions on but once in a while he licks your nose. Otherwise, it’s just a lot of sniffing like he thinks you’re hiding his dinner in your mouth. Ryder, watch out for Ryder. He is all about licking you. He’s a little weird though because he’ll lick your arms and knees too. Odd right? He’s a face licker too. When Ryder licks your face he licks your whole face, and not because his tongue is a foot wide; although it is big. He gets your whole face because he gets you when you’re not ready. You can be watching TV and he’s just hanging out with you and BAM his tongue has gone top to bottom on one side of your face. I know, I know, I said whole face, wait for it. So one side of your face is now much wetter than you wish it to be. And since he caught you off guard, you jump a little, turn toward him to say something about the tongue attack and you’ve just made a big mistake. Now you’re face-to-face and he’s very happy since you obviously loved that he licked you because now you’re talking to him. Yup, there goes the rest of your face. Now, if you’re really lucky, he’ll get you between words, otherwise some part of that tongue will also get in your mouth!
Bodily Functions (yea this one’s going to be gross): I so do not like potty-training dogs. I’m thinking that’s probably unanimous among pet owners. But, it comes with the territory so of course we do it. Since we have other dogs, it’s usually pretty simple to train a puppy or a dog that’s never had a dog door. They end up following the other dogs outside and figure out that’s where they should poop and pee. The bodily functions that I really have issues with is when they know they are supposed to go outside and don’t. This is something Shelby and I are fighting about. I don’t know if she forgets where the door is, waits until the last possible second or just doesn’t give a crap. Whatever it is, it’s making me crazy. She’ll do great for two days then pee on the floor. I think it may be her mission to get on my last nerve. Side note here, Marc cleans up dog poop daily. I mean we have like 20 dogs so he has too or we’ll get overcome by it. With that said, Crispie tests me by bringing turds in the house. Oh yes, you read that correctly. She brings in turds like they’re treasures. Wait, did I mention she eats them too? Sounds yummy right? It grosses me out! I can’t tell you how many times we’ve come home and there’s a small amount of pebbles on the sofa or the dog bed or both. You see there’s always pebbles left over from her poo snack because the dog run (where they poop) is pebbles which get picked up in the poop. Sometimes she simply brings turds in. As if just for fun. I find that to be rude. She goes out, picks one up, brings it in, and sets it on the sofa. Rude right? I agree. Crispie is very defiant so it wouldn’t shock me a bit if she did this because she knows it bothers me. Let’s talk pee again. We’ve had very few male dogs that lift their leg to pee. I was always grateful for our squatters because then they didn’t “mark” things. They just pee and go about their life. My boy Benson was a sort of squatter, meaning, he basically just leaned forward a very small amount. Essentially, he peed standing up and I’m so thankful for that. He weighed 205 pounds, if he had lifted his leg to a wall, he would’ve knocked it down! Ok so, I went outside with the dogs one night and Benson (who was a major Velcro dog) was leaning against me. Then, he started peeing. I mean just right there no squatting, no leg lifting, no warning, no shame. It might not have been so bad if he wasn’t standing right over my foot!! Yup that happened. He peed down part of my leg and all over my foot. Keep in mind, at his size and weight, he peed like a horse! Oh and another bit of trivia is that I had sandals on. Uh yea! It was so gross and wet and squishy, and really, really gross.
Wow. I just looked at each paragraph topic, this does not sound like a fun read. As always, I hope it was and if not fingers crossed for next time.