Hi, this is Ryder and mom said she’s doing a series of letters from us kids. I’ve no idea what a series is but I get to tell you about stuff so I like it so far. I’m a boy just in case you didn’t figure that out. I’m almost 9-months-old. My birthday is December 8th. I’m an English Mastiff. Mom says I’m probably not going to be as big as my brother Jax but we’ll see. Actually, I’m not sure I want to be as big as him because have you seen him? He’s huge and I think he’s like secretly a giant or something. You know like that big red dog, I think his name is Clifford. Yea Jax is like him but not red and not a cartoon guy. They’re the same but different.
Back to me, this is my series thing after all. I have 2 brothers, Jax and Blaze and 2 sisters, Zoey and Crispie plus I have what mom calls fosters. They are 1 brother called Parker and 1 sister called Shelby and holy chicken biscuits are they little. When mom and dad first brought them home I thought they were new toys but they were alive! I couldn’t believe there were dogs that little. I keep expecting them to get bigger but nope, they are just little for real. They are something called Chihuahuas; bet you thought I couldn’t spell that huh? Spellcheck! They are really tiny though. I have toys that are bigger than they are! Honest. The girl growls at me and get this, she steals my crate bed place. I know, rude right? But I let her because dad says there’s no sense arguing with a girl and I think he might be right. Then there’s the boy foster kid and he can be mean. He’s kind of grumpy to me sometimes. Everyone says he’s just playing but they don’t know what it’s like to have him growl and jump at you even if he only weighs 6 pounds. It scares me at times when I’m not expecting it. Well, I mean, he doesn’t really scare me, I um just let him think that. Yea, that’s what I meant to say. I mean really, who would be afraid of a 6 pound dog right? Not me. I just jump away from him so he feels good. So, who wants to change the subject?
It’s kind of fun being the puppy in my house because that means I get to do things that my brother’s and sister’s aren’t allowed to do like eat moms socks and shoe (I always leave her one shoe though because I’m just considerate that way), dig in the yard (but let me tell you this, don’t eat dads sprinklers-he kind of hates that), bug my brothers and sisters, sneak on the bed when my parents are sleeping, bark at stuff that mom says is imaginary (no idea what that means), and climb on dad but holy bones don’t climb on mom unless she invites you to cause she doesn’t like that at all. See I’m a good boy and fun! I don’t beg. I don’t even know what that is but mom says it isn’t nice. Most of my brothers and sisters do it, but not me and Jax. I bark sometimes but I know that when mom says, “Ryder quiet,” that I’d better stop so I do; ok fine maybe I don’t stop until she says it about six times but still I do stop at some point. That counts for something right? How good am I? Very!
We live in a place that I’ve heard mom say is two miles away from hell, called Arizona. Don’t ask. I’ve no idea. I do know it’s really super-hot here in the summer. Some days I’m afraid I’m going to melt and that’s scary! Since it gets so hot, mom and dad bought us a little pool that the other dogs get in but not me. No way. I’d rather play in that wet stuff that comes out of the tube thing. Mom lets me, Jax, and Blaze play in that to cool off. The girls don’t like it for some reason; I think they don’t want to get their hair wet. Mom thinks its funny most of the time. Supposedly I have a problem listening when I’m around that wet stuff. Mom says I get too focused and don’t listen when she says it’s time to stop. Too focused? I know, right? I listen just fine but that stuff is still there; I can’t let it just go, so I have to stay focused. If I don’t fight it who will? Exactly! It’s like my job. There was one time, ok three times, when I was fighting with the tube and I bit mom’s hand. Well it’s not like I meant to, it just-I don’t know, happened. But holy kibbles and bits, let me just tell you, she did not think that was even a little funny. I thought it was a little funny; but her, not so much. I was sorry but dog poop happens. Sometimes I think mom just doesn’t have one of those sense of humor things. Um I’ll share my treats with you if you don’t tell her I said that.
Now that you know a little about me, you obviously know I’m a party waiting to happen. Any time you want to play tug-of-war, run in the water stuff, steal things from the closet, or just hang out on my sofa, come on over. Right now, it’s time for me to go because dad just fixed the broken sprinklers for me so now I have some digging to do. And I see mom left her shoes out for me. They sure do love me. See, it pays to be a good boy.