Hi, I’m Jax. I just turned two. My birthday is July 30th. I’m an English Mastiff and I’m the giant everyone seems to be talking about. People need to understand that boys have feelings too. It’s not like I’m fat, I’m just not sure I want everyone to know my weight. It’s personal you know? HAH! I’m just kidding you. I don’t care because my size just makes me one of those tall, dark, and handsome guys and that works for me. (Mom says that’s not bragging if it’s true). Moving forward with my story for mom’s series stuff. I’m assuming Ryder told you about our family but I want to tell you too. I have 2 brothers, Blaze and Ryder. Blaze is 9, we call him the old man and you already know that Ryder is a baby. Puppy, I mean a puppy. He is a pain in my tail! He just wants to play and play and play. It can get really annoying at times. I need my naps and it’s really hard to nap when he’s biting my legs like he thinks they’re chicken wings! He must not have heard that Mastiffs are supposed to be calm and lazy. I’m super good at both of those things. Back to my family. My foster brother Parker is a year old. I also have 2 sisters, Crispie and Zoey. They are both almost 8. My foster sister Shelby is 3. Please don’t tell my sisters that I told you their age or they’ll be really mad at me. Dad says girls don’t like to talk about their age or weight. Seems kind of weird but I think girls are a little weird anyway.
I was born in Arizona. I’m the only boy out of a litter of 11. Can you believe that? Me neither. So yea, I have 10 siblings; ALL girls. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and come to my family’s house. At least at home I only have three sisters. That’s still a lot but much easier to handle; well, most of the time anyway. I like to play with Crispie a lot. She’s fun. Zoey never wants to play because she’s always barking at those tortoise things. Ryder, me, and Crispie like to run and wrestle. Mom doesn’t like it when the three of us play rough in the house like that though because I’m so big. Well that and because Ryder doesn’t stop barking. Did I tell you he’s a pain in my tail? He really is. Us boys like to play in the water too. Mom lets us play in the hose. I love to bite the water and chase it. It really cools me off and my parents say it gives me exercise too. Ryder doesn’t listen though when mom says it’s time to be done. He has a listening problem sometimes. I think it’s an ignoring problem all the time because I can sure hear mom when she talks. Remember, pain in the tail!
There’s a thing I do that some people think is gross. I don’t think it’s so bad and mom and dad are fine with it. It can happen to anyone. It just happens to me more than most. I drool. There I said it. It’s out. I drool, a lot. But I can’t stop it (and it can be funny at least to me). It’s not my fault though; my mouth is made funny so it just runs out sometimes. My uncle bought some towels just for me (he loves me) so mom has them everywhere in the house so she and dad can wipe my face for me. If they don’t and then I shake my head, slime flies. You never know where it’s going to land either. It can get on the walls, the television, the humans, really anywhere and everywhere. Sometimes it’s kind of funny when it happens.
I’d like to clear the air (no pun intended) on something that I’m pretty sure mom has told you all about. She says I fart. She says I fart a lot. She says my farts singe nose hair. SO NOT TRUE. I think its dad. It’s not me. I would never stink someone out. I’ve never farted before but if I ever need to I’ll excuse myself, go outside, and allow the evacuation of air from my rear. I’m positive that dogs don’t fart. Humans just want other people to think that so if they need to fart, they can blame it on us dogs. No way am I just going to let it rip in front of everyone. OMG how embarrassing that would be. I’m pretty sure it’s the humans just blaming me. Here’s a for instance: Last week it seemed like Blaze farted really close to my face. I heard it but when I looked at him he said, “That was dad.” I’ve thought it was Crispie before too but no matter who it is, they tell me its dad. I know they wouldn’t lie to me. I think dad seriously needs to see a doctor because wow, some of those farts are horrendous!
I told you I’m from Arizona and that’s where we live. I really don’t like how hot it is here. My mom doesn’t like it either. To help us stay cool, mom and dad bought me and her a room air conditioner for the room that we all hang out in the most. I love it! Since I’m so big, I just sit my butt on the sofa and front feet on the floor and let it blow in my face. Mom tells me it’s cute; I just know it works for me. I know that sometimes I block the air from blowing on mom but she doesn’t care because she loves me. Well, I don’t think she cares.
My family is really great; even Ryder most of the time. I share my sofa with everyone and mom and dad share their bed with me. Well, I used to sleep in the bed and it was mostly comfortable but then they said there wasn’t enough room anymore; and I was like, uh no kidding. I mean one of them needs to sleep on the sofa. So they got me my own bed that’s called a futon. It’s going to go in their room so I can still be close to them. I can’t wait because I’ll have it all to myself. You see, I didn’t want to tell them that they were crowding me in the bed. I think that might hurt their feelings so I’ll just keep that to myself. But between you and me, they would kind of squish me.
One of my sisters, Zoey, was lost for a long time in the beginning of this year. She and I don’t play together much because she only worries about those tortoises. I still missed her though. She was at my human sister’s house and she was scared so she dug out of the yard and got lost. She was gone for 3 months and 3 days. Mom and my human sister, Alex, were super sad. We were too. Even though we don’t all play together, she’s still our sister and we didn’t think she’d ever come home. Finally mom, dad, and Alex found her. Now she stays with us instead of staying with Alex. I think Zoey is more comfortable here because mom says this is where she grew up. Well, that and we’re all super cool and fun so I’m sure she wants to hang with us. I’m just glad she’s home. Mom cried a lot when Zoey was gone. Now she doesn’t cry about her. It just wasn’t the same when Zoey wasn’t home with us. We told her she can’t do that anymore because it scares us. She promised she wouldn’t.
I think that’s all I have to say for now. I’m going to go outside and play with Ryder and Crispie. I can’t wait until its cooler and mom comes out with us too. Maybe mom will do another series thing and we can talk again. I kind of like this writing about me and my family stuff.